It's been a busy few days and this week is going to be the same. Can you believe it is Thanksgiving already? I am not sure I am ready for the holiday season. I absolutely love it, but I feel like I am going to blink my eyes and it will be over....I try each year to be organized and have gifts bought in time, not so much this year....I know I'll get there I just don't even want to think about it yet. I want to enjoy Thanksgiving. I really love Thanksgiving....it is one of my favorite holidays. I love the cooler weather, the colors of fall and of course the smell of pumpkin pie baking in the oven or at least the yankee candle pumpkin pie!!!
This holiday is always a bit difficult for me. The year my Mom passed away we all had just spent Thanksgiving together at the beach. Not even a week later and we were flying to NJ to unknown circumstances. I feel as if I have a constant lump in my throat during Thanksgiving week and the first week of December. People tell you when you lose a loved one that time heals....I honestly don't know. Yes, I think it gets a little easier to accept and easier to find peace on most days. Although, holidays and anniversaries and even sometimes just something so simple makes the lump in my throat appear.
It brings a smile to my face to remember our last Thanksgiving together because my Mom (and my Dad) were so happy that holiday. We were all together and they were having the time of their life spending it with their granddaughter. She was the only grandchild. She was the center of my parents' universe. I vividly remember my Mom, my daughter and I doing the chicken dance that Thanksgiving. For some reason, my daughter loved it and so we did it A LOT. I remember watching her and my Mom out on the balcony and laughing so hard because my Mom did not care who may have been walking out on the beach, she was with her grandbaby and she was content.
I remember saying good-bye at the airport and hugging my Mom so tight. I realize we never know when it is going to be our last hug...but oh I wish I would have had a clue because I would have hugged a little bit longer that day. I can remember what she was wearing...I don't remember what I was wearing but I can picture her white sweater so clearly in my head. That was the last time I held my Mom when she was alert and happy. The next time I saw her, she was in the hospital and of course I held her hand but it wasn't the same. It will never be the same.
So, for me personally this holiday holds special meaning. I somehow seem to get through it each year. When things get busy and I feel like I need a break; I close my eyes and imagine my Mom with my daughter doing their dance. That is all I need. Memories will never fade.
I know we are going to have a wonderful holiday this year. We have family in town and we are so blessed to have them with us. My heart may feel heavy at times, but I know that my parents and all of our loved ones are watching over us and celebrating right along with us.
This month in Mass we have been singing a verse that I absolutely love. It is for anyone who has died and it brings chills to my bones each and every week. I wanted to share it with you:
May the choirs of angels come to greet you.
May they speed you to paradise.
May the Lord enfold you in his mercy.
May you find eternal life.
In case this week flies by me let me leave you with this: I wish each and every one of you a blessed Thanksgiving! Enjoy this special time with your family. May you laugh and make memories of your own.
For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson