My 3 Grits
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Learning to say no

10/15/2015

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Do you ever feel like this woman?  Frazzled, stressed, on or over the edge?  However, you say it, it doesn't feel good.  Can you identify what causes you to feel this way?  For me, one of the things and it may even be the main reason...I have a problem saying no.  I don't know what the reason behind it is, but I feel like I have to take everything upon myself.  Maybe I am trying to be a people pleaser?  Maybe it's Mom guilt?  Whatever it is I wish it would leave.  

Is it hard for you to say no to people's requests?  I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and trying to prioritize my time and schedule.  I've come to the conclusion that I have to learn how to say no.  I have to learn that when I say yes to ALL these other tasks (which are still important) that I end up stuffing what I feel is most important (my goals and my dreams).  When I say yes to numerous volunteering positions at school, church etc. I am saying no to my health, my sanity, my dream of writing.  I'm not being selfish.  I am trying to be a Woman, Wife and Mom who takes care of herself.  For the longest time I have not done so and it's time for change.  The greatest gift we can give our families is to take the time to care for ourselves.  Whether that means you make exercise, work, meditate WHATEVER your goal is.  It's going to look different for everyone and unique to each woman's situation.  We need to support one another.  We need to offer ourselves and each other some GRACE.  

When we are in the process of trying to do it all we usually end up not doing much of anything.  Or at least not doing it well.  This is not okay with me.  I want to find a way to prioritize my day and fill it with the steps that will help me reach my goals.  Whew...sounds good right?  Sound easy?  Not so much.  BUT it does sound necessary.  The thing to remember is these goals and dreams are going to change as well.  Our goal when our children are newborns is completely different from when they are school aged and older.  Now that my girls are a little more independent, I have to let them do more.  Kids can handle more than we think.  We just need to give them the opportunity to try and help set them up for success.  

So, you ask, "How do you do it?"  "How can we start to prioritize our day?"  Well, I think the first thing we need to do is to set a goal.  Now, for some it may be a daily goal, weekly goal or maybe a monthly goal.  Whatever it is identifying your goal is the first step.  Once you know what your goal is then you can figure out the small steps you need to take in order to fulfill it.  

Right now, for me I have to learn to say no to so many commitments in order to start prioritizing my day.  I know what my goal is and I know that in order to succeed at it, I cannot fill my days with too many tasks.  I have to allow myself the allotted time to work on my goal.  If we don't take ourselves seriously, no one else will either.  So, don't let yourself feel silly or not enough.  Respect your goals and dreams and everyone around you will start to do the same.  

I'm off now to think more about my goals and dreams and start putting them into action.  I'll meet you back here next time and share more about why saying no is not a bad thing!  In the meantime. go for it!!!  I'm cheering you on and know you can do whatever you put your mind to!  


God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow in them. ~Author Unknown

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    ABOUT ME:

    Hi I'm Jen, married to my best friend for 17 years and a Mom to 3 beautiful, energetic daughters. My blog is about navigating life as a wife, Mom and friend.  It's learning to live with and give out grace...And of course Girls Raised In The South (GRITS).  Thanks for spending some time in my small part of the world!  I hope you find a story that resonates with you and you'll want to come back!

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Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.
David Frost 


Photos used under Creative Commons from JDAC, NickiMM, Shazron, Masterdreams, Vibrant Spirit, gradders52, Sharon Mollerus, richard_north, saturn ♄