I was home with a sick kiddo hence I had some extra down time to be online today. I ventured over to Pinterest and found this poem. I felt like it was written for me. I too often find myself getting frustrated or losing patience with everyday things like the loads and loads of laundry that never seem to go away. Or the hectic daily after school schedule...snack, homework, extra curricular activities, make dinner, bathe kids, make lunches, blah, blah....I'm beginning to hit the wall of "is it summertime yet?" I'm ready for a little less structure and some fun time with the kids. This poem helped put things into perspective for me this morning. Enjoy!
Time. Where does it go? How do we get more of it? How do we savor it?Have you ever asked yourself these questions? Or maybe, Ugh, why is time going sooooo slow? When is this going to be over? I know I certainly have pondered both sides of these questions almost on a daily basis.
The ancient greeks had two types of time: Chronos and Karios. Chronos time is referred to as the time we live in (it's sequential time). For example, when we are having one of THOSE days and we are staring at the clock wishing it was our kiddos bedtime so we could have some PEACE and QUIET!!! That is Chronos time!
Karios time is the right, opportune time. Some refer to it as God's time. When God is acting in our lives. It's those magical moments that seem to make time stand still. It's those moments when we wish we could freeze frame the scene and keep it in our hearts and minds FOREVER!
I've been feeling that lately I am not allowing myself to see those Karios moments happening in my life. I feel so busy some days that once the girls are in bed, I want to collapse. I do collapse. Why do we allow ourselves to get so caught up in the busyness of life that we let these precious, rare moments slip by us?
Moments in "Karios" time are moments and memories to be cherished. Yesterday, we had a rough day. We had some disrespectful behavior and I really just wanted to hide under a rock and wait until 8pm rolled around. Days like yesterday drain me. They make me question my role as a Mother. They make me regret letting behaviors slip by that are now seeming to haunt me. These days are just down right hard. Although, in the middle of all the hardness there was a light. I was putting the girls to bed after we read a book and said our prayers. This usually takes many reminders to "stay in bed and get a good rest" or we have the pitter patter of little feet coming down the stairs two or three times. So, I was praying to myself that they would listen and go to sleep. I was tired and really wanted to forget about the days happenings. The light, the "karios" time came when I paused. Both girls were under their covers and ready for a good night kiss. I leaned down to kiss my middle daughter and very sweetly she said, "Mama, we are sorry about today." "We will try harder tomorrow." Now, maybe I am just a sucker, but it touched my heart. I know they aren't "meaning" to act they way they do at times. It was one of those moments that I wanted to pause. I wanted to remember how sweet and innocent the girls are. I wanted to remember how beautiful they are and how peaceful they look. I felt God's presence and him telling me, "It's okay Mama, tomorrow is a new day." Yes, yes it is.
I'm going to try hard to cherish these karios times. They come as quick as they go and we need to be alert to experience them. When I am rushed and feeling frenzied; I want to remember to slow down and look at all that is around me. When I am feeling weary and tired; I want to pause and give thanks to God for the three blessings that are making me feel worn out.
When I watch my husband with my girls and think to myself, "How in the world do I deserve such love?" These are all karios moments occuring in Chronos time. I may not always remember the karios moments, but I know they occur. They make all of the "rough" days much easier. They shine a light in the darkness. Won't you notice the light in your life?
When I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me and you make everything alright ~ Author Unknown
I love being a Mom to three girls. There are days I want to bang my head against the wall, but that's for another time! I recently had a conversation with another Mom about "why" our kids do certain behaviors. To a passerby it may have sounded like we were complaining (the laughter and "what about this" maybe even got a bit too loud), but if you've ever been there you'll understand:
Mother, the ribbons of your love are woven around my heart.~ Author Unknown
I came to Starbucks today to write. It's a rainy Monday here in the south and I think my whole town is here with me. I want to sit at a table where I can put my laptop, but they are all occupied. I scan the room and find a seat in the corner, so I take it. My laptop on my knees and my coffee next to me....I'm ready for some creative writing to take place...
I don't know if any of you frequently visit Starbucks, but I may be slightly addicted. I love a good cup of coffee and yes, there are days I drink one too many lattes! Usually, I am in and out with coffee in hand.
Today, I came to sit and get my thoughts from my head to paper. I look around and wonder how are these folks sitting here with laptops and headphones typing away? The jazz music is coming through the speakers and there is a buzz of conversation filling the room. I hear folks ordering non-fat lattes, some with coffee names longer than the alphabet. I hear orders that have no fat, no milk, no sugar....it sounds like a mystery in a cup! I see men in business suits concentrating hard on their computer screens; I see ladies in yoga pants working diligently. I even see doctors in scrubs with their laptops and headphones working away.
Here I sit, watching everyone while searching for my same drive to concentrate; to block out the music, the conversation, the distractions. I wonder do these folks come here often? Do they work? Are they trying to write like me? It's an interesting crowd. I could sit people watching being content and entertained. Then I think about my goal and why I came here today. I'm supposed to be working. I'm snapped back into reality and begin typing away. Before I know it, it's way past the time I allotted myself to be here. I quickly pack up, run in the pouring rain to my car. I have twenty minutes to get my youngest from preschool. It was an interesting day. I may not have written as much as I hoped. There are so many kinds of interesting people; so many kinds that all look busy while sitting there with their computers. This may seem odd, but it makes me giggle thinking about it.
Wherever your day took you; wherever your head wandered...I hope that you were able to be productive. I'm not sure if I will make a habit of writing in a public place. We'll see. For today, I enjoyed it and I was able to observe some folks that made me laugh, some that intrigued me and some that made me say, "Huh?"
Fill your paper with breathings from your heart ~ William Wordsworth
Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent for many people. Lent is a time to reflect, prepare and then finally a time to celebrate. A lot of people look at Lent as a time to “give something up.” Some choose to give up food; others choose to give up a negative behavior. Some even choose to add a behavior or practice like making more time for prayer or meditation. Many people use this time to become closer to Jesus. They use this time to build or strengthen their relationship with God.
What do you use this Lenten season for? Is there something that has been weighing heavy on your heart and you feel the need to let it go? Do it…hand it over to God and let him take care of it for you. I always thought of Lent as a time for sacrifice. I thought it was a time that I had to give up something that was challenging for me so that I could relate to how Jesus felt. Part of this is true. I do believe that we are supposed to work on feeling closer to Jesus. For me, this means doing something that brings my relationship with God to the forefront of my mind every single day. Not just on Sunday when I am sitting at Mass or when I want to pray. I mean EVERY day.
I want to change my ways by waking up each morning thanking God for the day, thanking him for my blessings and thanking him for my challenges. I want to read the scripture so that I can let his word become how I want to live. I want his word to become what I teach my girls. I want to pray with intention. I want to hand over my worries to Jesus. This last one is not an easy task for me and I desperately want to work on it.
You see, I am a worrier by nature. I worry about my husband; I worry about my girls; I worry about the world we live in; and lastly I worry about myself. I think at this point it is part of my personality, but it is a part that I would like to improve. I don’t want to add any more stress to my life than I already have.
So, this season I am letting go of worry. I am going to make a decision every morning when I wake to give my concerns over to God. I am going to remind myself that he is in control. I will remind myself that it is his timing and his will that I seek.
I will use these days of Lent to reflect on my relationship with Jesus. I will prepare myself by praying when and where I need to. So, if y’all see me driving and it looks like I am talking to myself…there is someone listening.
I will seek his word and his wisdom in my daily living. I will celebrate on Easter Sunday with a renewed spirit. Won’t you take some time and think closely about what you want your Lenten season to be?
"Lent stimulates us to let the Word of God penetrate our life and in this way to know the fundamental truth: who we are, where we come from, where we must go, what path we must take in life..."
- Pope Benedict XVI
When Motherhood gets hard
We love our little ones, no one doubts that belief. Don't you wish that someone would have told you that there were going to be rough days? I sure do. I think as new, sometimes young, sometimes old (er) Moms we have this vision of what motherhood and parenthood should look like. First of all, remember it's just that: a vision. We think this adorable bundle of joy will be just that a "joy" to raise. We have all of these ideas in our heads of how the baby will grow and behave etc. Well, what happens when that is not how things play out? What happens when your children start to talk back or learn disrespectful behavior?
Don't you wish when you left the hospital the nurse would have handed you a paper that read, "Welcome to Motherhood, where there will be more LOVE and more CHAOS than you could ever imagine."
IT's true. These little ones that make our hearts swell like no body's business can also irritate us to the core. These sweet little ones whose laughter lightens your day can equally bring dark circles under your eyes and grey hair to your scalp.
You know what though, it's all worth it. Not only is it worth it, but EVERY single Mom or Dad goes through it. So, next time you're in the car line and see the well groomed back to her pre pregnancy jeans in a week Mom REALLY look at her. She is having hard days too. We Moms need to stick together and be there for one another. We need to offer a hug or an extra cup of coffee when we see that Mom that looks worn down or defeated.
I wish someone would have told me that it's all going to be okay. I wish someone would have said, "You'll mess up, and you'll probably lose your patience. It's okay, it's all part of the journey. Don't fret and move on."
I love my kids. I adore my kids. I would do anything in the world to protect them. I know when they become Mamas themselves I will tell them what I wish I heard. I will tell them not every day will be smooth sailing. You will have days when going to the bathroom alone is a treat. You'll have days where you laugh so hard your side aches and you'll have days you cry so hard your eyes ache. Don't feel guilty for wanting and more importantly needing a break. Don't feel embarrassed if you wear yoga pants ALL the time when you are not even going to yoga! Enjoy being a Mom. It's a beautiful gift and a beautiful mess all at the same time. Don't judge other Mamas. Have fun! Find a way to make yourself feel happy each and every day. P.S. YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOM!
Yes, that is what I will tell them. I sure hope they listen. How about going and telling a Mom or Dad in your life what a great job they are doing. It may be all they need to hear today!
No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother's love. It shrinks not where man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints, and over wastes of worldly fortunes sends the radiance of its quenchless fidelity like a star.
~ Edwin Hubbell Chapin
There are days when all I need to do is walk on the beach. Today was one. I love this place.
Sticking with my "2015" word:
"When anxious, uneasy and bad thoughts come, I go to the sea, and the sea drowns them out with its great wide sounds, cleanses me with its noise, and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke, Poet
Have you ever been in a situation where you were made to feel like you've made a mess of things? How did you react? Are you the type of person that stands up for yourself and your values? Do you let yourself get rattled by what other people think of you? Do you let someone's judgement of you alter how you parent?
There are times I wish I could let "the issues" roll off my shoulders. Instead, I usually take things to heart and overanalyze a situation until my head hurts. Why is that? Why can't I just have confidence that I did my best and say, "Well, some folks will never understand."
When this happens do you have someone you can confide in? Do you have girlfriends that you can call and just vent to while knowing they completely "get you" (and still love you). I sure hope so. Friends are the life rafts we need to stay afloat on the rough sea. They help us figure situations out and sometimes they just help us by letting us cry.
It's not always easy to open up to someone about certain events that are taking place in your life. I know sometimes I feel like I don't want to burden anyone with my "small issues." The thing is when I listen to that voice and don't say anything; what once was a small issue has then grown into a big ol' mess in my head.
I've been keeping something inside for a few weeks and this week when I met a friend of mine for coffee I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let it all go and you know what? She stood up, gave me a hug and said, "I've been there, I understand. You are an amazing Mom and I love ya." I cannot describe how much I needed to hear those words. Parenting is hard and it's messy. We all make mistakes and we all need support in raising our young ones. That is really it in a nutshell. It takes a village. Help me, don't judge me. I'm just me trying my best...my best to stay afloat in what is sometimes a stormy sea!
Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do. ~ Matt Walsh
Happy New Year everyone! I hope you are recovered from the holiday gatherings and what seemed to be the never ending feast of December. I don't know about you but whew I feel like we ate so much the past month. Maybe it's because we had a house full of family and felt the need to entertain. Whatever the reason, I am glad to see it go and I look forward to a new healthier lifestyle or at least the motivation to continue an exercise regimen so that I can eat however I choose!
With the new year comes a sense of hope and anticipation for a new beginning. I sure am a sucker for New Years resolutions. Let's be honest folks, any time I am given another chance to make things better; I will take it. I make plenty of mistakes. I mess up daily. I make mistakes as a Wife, as a Mom and just in general. So, I am welcoming this new year and a new start.
This weekend my husband and I were talking with our girls about God's mercy and forgiveness. I hope that they got as much out of the lesson as I did. It is so important and imperative for parents to forgive themselves. It is a challenge to raise these young ones that we've been entrusted with. No one is perfect, so we are bound to make mistakes. I'm so happy that my husband and I feel comfortable enough to admit when we've made a mistake. It teaches our girls that it is okay. It is okay to lose patience or to be upset. The important thing to remember is to always ask for forgiveness. I want our girls to know that no matter what happens God loves us and will help us to move on when we seek forgiveness.
The beginning of a new year is a time full of hopes and dreams. Do you have a goal for this year? I decided this year that I was going to give myself a word. I want this word to be one that encompasses my goals and my dreams for this coming year. I thought long and hard about my word. I reflected back on things that I struggled with this past year and what I need to pay attention to in my life. So, my word is BELIEVE.
I need to BELIEVE and grow more in my faith. I need to BELIEVE in and nourish my marriage; I need to BELIEVE in my capability as a Mom and encourage my girls; I need to BELIEVE in and strengthen my friendships; I need to BELIEVE in myself; love myself and forgive myself.
I welcome you 2015! I look forward to beginning anew. I look forward to another chance. A chance to live intentionally with my words, with my thoughts and with my heart.
What's your word?
“From what we get, we can make a living. What we give; however, makes a life.”
― Arthur Ashe