My 3 Grits
  • A day in the life with My 3 Grits

What if I don't feel like being SuperMom today ???

4/24/2015

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I crack up at this image.  I love the look on this Mom's face.  I know too often I have that same exact look.  It's okay Mom...press on, press on...This week has been a particularly busy week.  I know it's life...honestly when are we not feeling busy?  Most days I go, go, go and GO some more.  When I have a moment to sit and think (or a split second that I am not hearing, "Mom, I need help!")  I try to remind myself that it all goes so fast.  I try to tell myself "take a deep breath and look around."  "They will be all grown up in a blink of an eye."  It's so true.  I know it.  You know it.  It still doesn't make the day after day of repeating myself to "CLEAN YOUR ROOM!" any easier.  Sometimes being a stay at home Mom feels just down right tedious.  Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE it. (well, most days) I feel very fortunate to be able to stay home.  I'm just venting here!  

So, the other morning I was feeling rushed.  I made a passing comment to my husband about something that had to get done that afternoon.  I wasn't complaining about it, I just wanted to talk.  Well, actually I wanted him to say, "Oh how can I help you?" but he's not a mind reader, why is he not haha?  I should have told him the TRUTH and not just comment about the busyness of my day.  I never did come out and tell him how I was really feeling.  I wanted him to figure it out by the words I chose.  (WARNING LADIES-DON'T DO THIS IF YOU TRULY WANT YOUR HUSBAND'S HELP)  

ASK FOR IT IF YOU NEED IT!!!!

I wish I would have.  He was on his way out the door, gives me a kiss and says, "You can handle it SuperMom!"  Now, on a different day I may have taken that as a compliment.  Not this day.  It made me MAD!  I didn't want to be Super Mom.  I wanted him to help me or at least try to help me.  I wanted him to realize how full my plate was and I can't possibly fill it with anything else.  I wanted him to realize how much I love my job, but I am TIRED!!!  

Have you ever felt like everyone around you thinks you can handle it all when inside you are screaming, "I can't do this right now!"  It's hard y'all.  It brings up all those nasty "I am not cut out for this," "I am the worst Mom, Wife, Friend etc.," "I am a failure" thoughts that we need to NOT listen to.  Just because you are feeling tired or busy or frazzled...whatever it is you are feeling DOES NOT EVER make you the world's worst Mom.  You are a GREAT Mom.  If you don't think so, just take a good hard look at your kiddos.  They are living proof that you are doing your job (and the job of a million others) and doing it with absolute wonder!!!


We don't need red capes (although that might be fun!) to be good Moms.  Just love.  Love your littles or your bigs with all you have.  When you are having a hard day (we all have them), give yourself a break.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  It's okay to tell your kids you need a few minutes to unwind or to sit and have a cup of coffee.  Most importantly, it is OK to say, "No, I would love to help, but I just can't do it today."  


So, for all you Moms out there that are feeling worn down today I commend you for doing an AWESOME job.  I read this the other day and it gave me chills.  It made me stop and think that all of this (the good times, and especially the messy times) are happening for a reason.  I need to remember each step counts.  Each time we wipe a snotty nose, pick up shoes for the umpteenth time or kiss a boo-boo...it is seen and it will be rewarded.  


Proverbs 16:9

The human heart plans the way,
but the Lord directs the steps.







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Can you find joy in the mundane tasks?

4/21/2015

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I was home with a sick kiddo hence I had some extra down time to be online today.  I ventured over to Pinterest and found this poem.  I felt like it was written for me.  I too often find myself getting frustrated or losing patience with everyday things like the loads and loads of laundry that never seem to go away.  Or the hectic daily after school schedule...snack, homework, extra curricular activities, make dinner, bathe kids, make lunches, blah, blah....I'm beginning to hit the wall of "is it summertime yet?"  I'm ready for a little less structure and some fun time with the kids.  This poem helped put things into perspective for me this morning.  Enjoy!



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Chronos vs. Kairos

3/13/2015

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Time.  Where does it go?  How do we get more of it?  How do we savor it?Have you ever asked yourself these questions?  Or maybe, Ugh, why is time going sooooo slow? When is this going to be over?  I know I certainly have pondered both sides of these questions almost on a daily basis.  


The ancient greeks had two types of time: Chronos and Karios.  Chronos time is referred to as the time we live in (it's sequential time).  For example, when we are having one of THOSE days and we are staring at the clock wishing it was our kiddos bedtime so we could have some PEACE and QUIET!!!  That is Chronos time!  


Karios time is the right, opportune time.  Some refer to it as God's time.  When God is acting in our lives.  It's those magical moments that seem to make time stand still.  It's those moments when we wish we could freeze frame the scene and keep it in our hearts and minds FOREVER!


I've been feeling that lately I am not allowing myself to see those Karios moments happening in my life.  I feel so busy some days that once the girls are in bed, I want to collapse.  I do collapse.  Why do we allow ourselves to get so caught up in the busyness of life that we let these precious, rare moments slip by us?  


Moments in "Karios" time are moments and memories to be cherished.  Yesterday, we had a rough day.  We had some disrespectful behavior and I really just wanted to hide under a rock and wait until 8pm rolled around.  Days like yesterday drain me.  They make me question my role as a Mother.  They make me regret letting behaviors slip by that are now seeming to haunt me.  These days are just down right hard.  Although, in the middle of all the hardness there was a light.  I was putting the girls to bed after we read a book and said our prayers.  This usually takes many reminders to "stay in bed and get a good rest" or we have the pitter patter of little feet coming down the stairs two or three times.  So, I was praying to myself that they would listen and go to sleep.  I was tired and really wanted to forget about the days happenings.  The light, the "karios" time came when I paused.  Both girls were under their covers and ready for a good night kiss.  I leaned down to kiss my middle daughter and very sweetly she said, "Mama, we are sorry about today."  "We will try harder tomorrow."  Now, maybe I am just a sucker, but it touched my heart.  I know they aren't "meaning" to act they way they do at times.  It was one of those moments that I wanted to pause.  I wanted to remember how sweet and innocent the girls are.  I wanted to remember how beautiful they are and how peaceful they look.  I felt God's presence and him telling me, "It's okay Mama, tomorrow is a new day."  Yes, yes it is.


I'm going to try hard to cherish these karios times.  They come as quick as they go and we need to be alert to experience them.  When I am rushed and feeling frenzied; I want to remember to slow down and look at all that is around me.  When I am feeling weary and tired; I want to pause and give thanks to God for the three blessings that are making me feel worn out.  


When I watch my husband with my girls and think to myself, "How in the world do I deserve such love?"  These are all karios moments occuring in Chronos time.  I may not always remember the karios moments, but I know they occur.  They make all of the "rough" days much easier.  They shine a light in the darkness.  Won't you notice the light in your life?


When I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me and you make everything alright ~ Author Unknown



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The why's and how come?

3/4/2015

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I love being a Mom to three girls.  There are days I want to bang my head against the wall, but that's for another time!  I recently had a conversation with another Mom about "why" our kids do certain behaviors.  To a passerby it may have sounded like we were complaining (the laughter and "what about this" maybe even got a bit too loud), but if you've ever been there you'll understand:


  • Why do my children insist on changing their outfits SO MANY times per day?
  • How come they (and their dirty clothes) can't find their way to the hamper?
  • Why when I need to use the restroom does EVERYTHING turn into an urgent, emergency matter?
  • How come they cannot remember to knock before opening the bathroom door?
  • Why does "You must wear shoes outside" seem so unfair to my girls? 
  • How come their teachers compliment how well they focus and listen while at home I sound like a recording machine?
  • Why does it sometimes feel the "every day" of Motherhood can drag on and on while the "years" just fly by?
  • How come I want to hide in the closet some days (just for some peace and quiet please?) and other days I want to freeze time, so they don't grow up?
  • Why do they always want the same exact toy as the other?
  • How come the car smells like something VERY STRANGE and FULL OF ODOR is growing inside?
  • Why does 4th grade math make me feel like I need to go back to school?  Moms of older kids...This is going to get worse isn't it?
  • How come on weekdays their feet are dragging to get out of bed while on the weekends they can't sleep past 7am?
  • Why and how is it possible that these little girls are such a blessing to my life?  This one I can easily answer.  God chose Me!  I can't imagine my life any other way.   Even on the really hard days, and yes there are plenty of them; even on the days when we are venting to a friend...every bit and every piece of my days....I love being a Mom.  



Mother, the ribbons of your love are woven around my heart.~ Author Unknown



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Some many kinds

2/23/2015

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I came to Starbucks today to write.  It's a rainy Monday here in the south and I think my whole town is here with me.  I want to sit at a table where I can put my laptop, but they are all occupied.  I scan the room and find a seat in the corner, so I take it.  My laptop on my knees and my coffee next to me....I'm ready for some creative writing to take place...


I don't know if any of you frequently visit Starbucks, but I may be slightly addicted.  I love a good cup of coffee and yes, there are days I drink one too many lattes!  Usually, I am in and out with coffee in hand.  


Today, I came to sit and get my thoughts from my head to paper.  I look around and wonder how are these folks sitting here with laptops and headphones typing away?  The jazz music is coming through the speakers and there is a buzz of conversation filling the room.  I hear folks ordering non-fat lattes, some with coffee names longer than the alphabet.  I hear orders that have no fat, no milk, no sugar....it sounds like a mystery in a cup! I see men in business suits concentrating hard on their computer screens; I see ladies in yoga pants working diligently.  I even see doctors in scrubs with their laptops and headphones working away.  


Here I sit, watching everyone while searching for my same drive to concentrate; to block out the music, the conversation, the distractions.  I wonder do these folks come here often?  Do they work?  Are they trying to write like me?  It's an interesting crowd.  I could sit people watching being content and entertained.  Then I think about my goal and why I came here today.  I'm supposed to be working.  I'm snapped back into reality and begin typing away.  Before I know it, it's way past the time I allotted myself to be here.  I quickly pack up, run in the pouring rain to my car.  I have twenty minutes to get my youngest from preschool.  It was an interesting day.  I may not have written as much as I hoped.  There are so many kinds of interesting people; so many kinds that all look busy while sitting there with their computers.   This may seem odd, but it makes me giggle thinking about it.  


Wherever your day took you; wherever your head wandered...I hope that you were able to be productive.  I'm not sure if I will make a habit of writing in a public place.  We'll see.  For today, I enjoyed it and I was able to observe some folks that made me laugh, some that intrigued me and some that made me say, "Huh?"


Fill your paper with breathings from your heart ~ William Wordsworth



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The art of letting go

2/18/2015

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Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent for many people.  Lent is a time to reflect, prepare and then finally a time to celebrate.  A lot of people look at Lent as a time to “give something up.”  Some choose to give up food; others choose to give up a negative behavior.  Some even choose to add a behavior or practice like making more time for prayer or meditation.  Many people use this time to become closer to Jesus.  They use this time to build or strengthen their relationship with God. 

 

What do you use this Lenten season for?  Is there something that has been weighing heavy on your heart and you feel the need to let it go?  Do it…hand it over to God and let him take care of it for you.  I always thought of Lent as a time for sacrifice.  I thought it was a time that I had to give up something that was challenging for me so that I could relate to how Jesus felt.  Part of this is true.  I do believe that we are supposed to work on feeling closer to Jesus.  For me, this means doing something that brings my relationship with God to the forefront of my mind every single day.  Not just on Sunday when I am sitting at Mass or when I want to pray.  I mean EVERY day. 

 

I want to change my ways by waking up each morning thanking God for the day, thanking him for my blessings and thanking him for my challenges.  I want to read the scripture so that I can let his word become how I want to live.  I want his word to become what I teach my girls.  I want to pray with intention.  I want to hand over my worries to Jesus.  This last one is not an easy task for me and I desperately want to work on it. 

 

You see, I am a worrier by nature.  I worry about my husband; I worry about my girls; I worry about the world we live in; and lastly I worry about myself.  I think at this point it is part of my personality, but it is a part that I would like to improve.  I don’t want to add any more stress to my life than I already have.  


So, this season I am letting go of worry.  I am going to make a decision every morning when I wake to give my concerns over to God.  I am going to remind myself that he is in control.  I will remind myself that it is his timing and his will that I seek. 

 

I will use these days of Lent to reflect on my relationship with Jesus.  I will prepare myself by praying when and where I need to.  So, if y’all see me driving and it looks like I am talking to myself…there is someone listening.

 

I will seek his word and his wisdom in my daily living.  I will celebrate on Easter Sunday with a renewed spirit.  Won’t you take some time and think closely about what you want your Lenten season to be?

 
"Lent stimulates us to let the Word of God penetrate our life and in this way to know the fundamental truth: who we are, where we come from, where we must go, what path we must take in life..." 
- Pope Benedict XVI 

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Love and chaos together

1/26/2015

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When Motherhood gets hard

We love our little ones,  no one doubts that belief.  Don't you wish that someone would have told you that there were going to be rough days?  I sure do.  I think as new, sometimes young, sometimes old (er) Moms we have this vision of what motherhood and parenthood should look like.  First of all, remember it's just that: a vision.  We think this adorable bundle of joy will be just that a "joy" to raise.  We have all of these ideas in our heads of how the baby will grow and behave etc.  Well, what happens when that is not how things play out?  What happens when your children start to talk back or learn disrespectful behavior?  


Don't you wish when you left the hospital the nurse would have handed you a paper that read, "Welcome to Motherhood, where there will be more LOVE and more CHAOS than you could ever imagine."


IT's true.  These little ones that make our hearts swell like no body's business can also irritate us to the core.  These sweet little ones whose laughter lightens your day can equally bring dark circles under your eyes and grey hair to your scalp.


You know what though, it's all worth it.  Not only is it worth it, but EVERY single Mom or Dad goes through it.  So, next time you're in the car line and see the well groomed back to her pre pregnancy jeans in a week Mom REALLY look at her.  She is having hard days too.  We Moms need to stick together and be there for one another.  We need to offer a hug or an extra cup of coffee when we see that Mom that looks worn down or defeated.


I wish someone would have told me that it's all going to be okay.  I wish someone would have said, "You'll mess up, and you'll probably lose your patience.  It's okay, it's all part of the journey.  Don't fret and move on."


I love my kids.  I adore my kids.  I would do anything in the world to protect them.  I know when they become Mamas themselves I will tell them what I wish I heard.  I will tell them not every day will be smooth sailing.  You will have days when going to the bathroom alone is a treat.  You'll have days where you laugh so hard your side aches and you'll have days you cry so hard your eyes ache.  Don't feel guilty for wanting and more importantly needing a break.  Don't feel embarrassed if you wear yoga pants ALL the time when you are not even going to yoga!  Enjoy being a Mom.  It's a beautiful gift and a beautiful mess all at the same time.  Don't judge other Mamas.  Have fun!  Find a way to make yourself feel happy each and every day.  P.S.  YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOM!


Yes, that is what I will tell them.  I sure hope they listen.  How about going and telling a Mom or Dad in your life what a great job they are doing.  It may be all they need to hear today!


No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother's love.  It shrinks not where man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints, and over wastes of worldly fortunes sends the radiance of its quenchless fidelity like a star. 
~ Edwin Hubbell Chapin
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My place

1/20/2015

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There are days when all I need to do is walk on the beach.  Today was one.  I love this place.
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Sticking with my "2015" word:
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"When anxious, uneasy and bad thoughts come, I go to the sea, and the sea drowns them out with its great wide sounds, cleanses me with its noise, and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke, Poet
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Life rafts

1/14/2015

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Have you ever been in a situation where you were made to feel like you've made a mess of things?  How did you react?  Are you the type of person that stands up for yourself and your values?  Do you let yourself get rattled by what other people think of you?  Do you let someone's judgement of you alter how you parent? 


There are times I wish I could let "the issues" roll off my shoulders.  Instead, I usually take things to heart and overanalyze a situation until my head hurts.  Why is that?  Why can't I just have confidence that I did my best and say, "Well, some folks will never understand." 


When this happens do you have someone you can confide in?  Do you have girlfriends that you can call and just vent to while knowing they completely "get you" (and still love you).  I sure hope so.  Friends are the life rafts we need to stay afloat on the rough sea.  They help us figure situations out and sometimes they just help us by letting us cry.  



It's not always easy to open up to someone about certain events that are taking place in your life.  I know sometimes I feel like I don't want to burden anyone with my "small issues."  The thing is when I listen to that voice and don't say anything; what once was a small issue has then grown into a big ol' mess in my head.  


I've been keeping something inside for a few weeks and this week when I met a friend of mine for coffee I couldn't hold it in any longer.  I let it all go and you know what?  She stood up, gave me a hug and said, "I've been there, I understand.  You are an amazing Mom and I love ya."  I cannot describe how much I needed to hear those words.  Parenting is hard and it's messy.  We all make mistakes and we all need support in raising our young ones.  That is really it in a nutshell.  It takes a village.  Help me, don't judge me.  I'm just me trying my best...my best to stay afloat in what is sometimes a stormy sea!


Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do. ~ Matt Walsh

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I love the weekend

1/9/2015

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We made it friends...the first full week back to school for the kids; for me the first full week of exercising by 6:30am!  I have to say it wasn't as bad as I first thought it may be.  Wishing you a weekend full of happiness, laughter and relaxation!  
Continue to reach for your goals next week!

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    ABOUT ME:

    Hi I'm Jen, married to my best friend for 17 years and a Mom to 3 beautiful, energetic daughters. My blog is about navigating life as a wife, Mom and friend.  It's learning to live with and give out grace...And of course Girls Raised In The South (GRITS).  Thanks for spending some time in my small part of the world!  I hope you find a story that resonates with you and you'll want to come back!

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Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.
David Frost 
Photos used under Creative Commons from JDAC, NickiMM, Shazron, Masterdreams, Vibrant Spirit, gradders52, Sharon Mollerus, richard_north, saturn ♄